Monday, November 06, 2006

Attack of the killer rooster

Yes, you read that right--rooster. For those that might be unaware I have a deep seeded fear of roosters dating to my childhood. Why you ask? Because my FATHER let one attack me. Ok, ok that's a very slight exaggeration. The real, abridged story actually goes as this,

once upon a time my parents thought it would be cool to have chickens and have fresh eggs n all that jazz. With the chickens came a very nasty rooster. Because my parents were big on chores, my brother and I had to feed and collect the eggs everyday. And everyday the rooster would be ready and waiting at the door, swooping at us with its talons out! My big brother thought up creative ways to ward off the evil rooster (though PETA would not want to hear about it) and we survived. Until one day while the rooster was on prowl of our backyard (as we had let it out of the coop at this point so a fox would eat it. Let nature take its course..With a little nudge) and I being all cute n swinging on my swing, the rooster stalked me from across the yard, ran up to me and would jump to peck me to death every time the swing went by. I was STANDING on the swing, crying, SCREAMING for someone to help me. Little did I know my father was inside looking on from a window LAUGHING at my demise!

so now I fear roosters. (you could saved me dad!) anyway, all this DOES have a point.
2 weeks ago, 2 roosters escaped from their fenced in yard of a house that is en route to where my class is. I walk by the house every day and hear the roosters crowing, which doesn't bother me. As long as their fenced in I can deal with it. Well last week the got out and they stared me down. It may surprise you to know I haven't actually come face to face with a rooster outside a fence since my childhood. I stopped dead in my tracks. I could feel prickly sweat begin to form, I was hear ventilating and near tears. I slowly crept forward trying not to alarm them. All the while saying "ohmygod ohmygod ohmygod" and when I made it past I kept looking over my shoulder to make sure they weren't chasing me.

after class was over I made sure to walk causiously and the roosters were gone so I figured the owner caught them and brought them back in.

so this morning I'm walking to class, already putting the attack horrors from 2 weeks ago behind me, I became startled by a rooster in the bushes!!!!!! I was inches away from it and it was scuffing its feet like a bull ready to charge. I swerved my body away, falling off the sidewalk slipping on leaves and had that "eeeeek" look on my face that crazy people get when there's a bee near them. Some guy saw my freak out.
the rooster didn't get me. And he crowed at me on the way back. I think I'm going to have to take the longer way around tomorrow because I can't take this stress!

I swear it looks at me.

6 comments:

iruvroo said...

my poor baby, I didn't know whether to laugh or cry. be strong my little grasshopper, you can overcome that nasty rooster.

mandee said...

yeah, well he flapped his wings at me today. i just have to be careful; i told gregory my story and he laughed at me. he said its JUST a rooster (coming from one of those crazy people that do scream like little girls every time a bee is near him) he said bees can sting and i said roosters can peck your eyes out! i think i won that one.

aunt pat said...

I'm curious as to which is worse -rooster, squirrel or siamese?
Suggestion: light a significantly large torch upon approching the rooster erea, while screaming and flailling the torch, run until you pass the rooster erea touching the flame of the torch to a rooster if needed.
Good Luck!
aunt pat

Steph said...

I just read this aloud to Justin who laughed through the whole thing and did attest to the evil rooster story and the Dad sitting in the house laughing, quoting him, "Ah... they'll figure it out"....

Aunt Pat said...

Mary Ann comments: Sounds like my duck story. My father, clueless as to what to do with children when in his care, would take us to feed the DUCKS. They particularly liked to chase and bite me, fueled even more as I screamed running at top 4-year-old speed-my body, too small to fight off the flocks flailing wing spans. For the men in my family, this became a regular sporting spectacular! At some point my father did sense my fear, and he would plant me up on the roof of the car to simply watch. Years later, I confronted my fears about foul and raised chickens and hens (roosters too) for 4-H and won many ribbons and was very happy. Moral of story. Like when in Rome do as the Romans do-when in the farmyard fight like a cock! - See you next week, Mary Ann

mandee said...

haha "when in the farmyard fight a cock" brilliant!

luckily for me this was my last day fearing for my life for 2 weeks! and the roosters were tag teaming today! but i walked in the street rather than pass them on the side walk!

good for you raising foul. i think i'd skip out on the roosters though